今天我被警察逮捕了，被命令把身上所有東西都交出來。
第一刀，把我的心臟外皮隔開，有水流出來了。
然後，接下了第二刀、第三刀、第四刀....
我看到我的心臟被放在桌面，不停地跳動，
裏面有熾熱的夢想，
裏面有兒時的記憶，
裏面有別人對我的好，
裏面有-----
我真的很想知道我的心臟到底裝了什麽，我到底在乎你多少，而又被像他們這樣割開了多少，所以你才會像此時那樣推翻我的誠意。
你是否一樣承受過現在我所承受的痛，所以我的誠意，理應受到懲罰。淚停不下來了，就像被剝開的心臟那血吖--一般。我傷害你那麼多么？我沒對過你好吧？我還記得他說的話，陳泰安說的話，他說：”你覺得對她好的事情，不覺得是好的“。
掌聲~
對啊。這句話說得很對。我就沒有對過你好吧，就算有，也是我自己的想法而已。我覺得對你好，但是對你來說我的好不是好，對你來說沒有意義。他最瞭解你了。哈哈--
所以我把你傷得很痛，現在，我才會那麼痛。
開始寫xclife后就荒蕪這裡了。
大家都好像很忙呢。
還有一百多天就是一年了。
只是半年多大家都變得很多。
我還是很喜歡土媽。
和欣妮更親近了--雖然一直爲了小事鬧彆扭。
和xx怎么了。
開始慢慢學好駕車。
成績越來越差。
我就越來越來壓力了。
大家都過得似乎很無恙呢--
這就是我們的生活了
Ya, everyone started to busy with midyear.
No comment, No..
And sindee also becomes din reply like that liao.
Stms, i think that, distance can make us closer, zit?
sth, we cherish after we lost it...
Do you wish to hug me?
love me?
hold me?
kiss me?
下午和川葉她們去慶祝生日--其實很累，沒有很想去了，加上，考試要到了。
拉了欣妮去，覺得很對不起她。
還有，在魔力的時候，看到xx傳給欣妮的信息了。
哈哈，沒辦法。
還有我知道我pa1的分數了。
哈哈，沒辦法。
jpa拿不到錢？
哈哈，沒辦法。
我的生日願望：
第一個，stpm拿到全部A（等於=在做夢）
第二個，保密。
第三個，情急之下亂許的：世界和平！
哈哈，沒辦法。
謝謝大家送我的生日禮物。
欣妮嘛。
可能嘴上不說，但是我應該要嘗試去懂得她的想法？
哈哈哈~
我會為我自己而開心，
當然，不是麻木的，我會在適時娛樂我身邊的朋友。
好想好想，
明天就是一個全新的劉慧卿了。
（不說話的那種）
哈哈哈哈~沒辦法~
至於我的手，
其實就很痛，也沒什麽。
欣妮今天說：你昨天xxx蛤？
哇色！哪裡可以說這么大聲還要我承認？
只是很痛。
哈哈，沒辦法
好久沒有來寫日誌了，因為有了xclife。
考試即將來臨了。昨天沒有讀到書，可能心情就變得很不好。
後來找阿飯吵架。
馬上說對不起。
爸爸早上提起JPA的事情，說得好像在懷疑我把jpa的錢花了、或者是我不想要jpa的錢似的。
欣妮拿到了。
早上爲了這件事情有點浮躁。
結果手就磨破皮了。
欣妮沒有問我。
手機很安靜，昨晚我以為它壞了。
明天就是我的生日了。
劉慧卿，生日快樂，考試考好，什麽都不重要！
是么？
我的心情浮躁因為欣妮，所以應該遠離她？
我也想，不管她是不是起因。
但是離開像----人類在天上擁有自己的翅膀飛翔。。
Last night sleep quite early. Morning 4.30am wake up.
On the light, but lots of flies come in due to whole night rain.
I off the light, on my hp. With the little little light, I start to study my PA.
Dude, I cant finish all. Compare to my previous experience, i read my text book already. Last time only do exercise, but can score. Now..the questions seem to be very difficult.
Whatever, I Dont have opinion...
Today Dns gave me birthday gift again. This is second one for my 18 year-old birthday already..
He bought me about 4 white t-shirts.
Today sist called her friend to pass me money, but only Rm300. After pay Hamdan and telephone bills, I left nothing much, and the worse it, I still need to give mom 120rm as her mother's day gift.
Whatever, Happy Mother's Day! (and to Tuma too...）
No.1 not a fault...
I wonder how Soh gave speaking marks for us. Peilin and me which are the weakest among the four members in the speaking group, get the highest mark in the muet trial. N my speaking marks even same with joyce or slightly higher or lower! (though it s band4)
I less 2 marks then can get band 4 in trial. Suck. the real exam more >>????? (choi!).
Anyway, i know my weaknest is writting. N yuhjen get band 4! (Ha ha ha ha)
Last night i lie on my room floor and rest awhile. I hope i could study overnight ytd, maybe watching tv too. I thought I wont fall asleep because the floor is cold and uncomfortable. But my sleeping skill as good as 大雄..Nobita zit? I dont know their english name.
ENGLISH CORNER
If you're drowsy on a workday afternoon, chances are you must just force yourself to stay awake. But if slumber beckoned while you were in Spain, the tradition has been to slip away from a siesta.
Drowsy: Sleepy
Slumber beckoned: wan to sleep
During midnight, either my dad come to my room. Then he saw me lie on the floor and slept. I dont have impression whether he did talk to me or not. But i saw my room's windows were opened in the morning, I guess my dad open it. Caused after that, I know my mom come to my room (you know she has the ability to wake me up with just a word "a mei yah!" Suck!!), she asked me to go to their room n sleep.
Actually I not feel hot. Mom asked me why i dunwan go to their room sleep. I dono how to explain. If lie on floor and sleep, I can wake up and study at the midnight. If lie on bed and rest awhile, I will sleep and never wake up.
Irony, sleep on the floor doesnt help me much in studying during midnight. (The fact is I never wake up! GOD)
Sindee and Nis msg me last night but I fall asleep already. Sindee said, Dns is a good man which nearly extinct already. Actually he does more than you all know..
I dont know that Polo watch worth how much, I will go to see when im free. And I think he puts his msg tone very loud, so that can receive my msg at any time (and wake him up), and reply at once. (I always msg everyone during midnight or early in the morning, only he will reply me. Girl maybe not same. We want to sleep, we will put soft msg tone when night. Ha ha)
Well...
I spent my precious half day in order to change my blog layout, but i failed!
Finding some nice blog with 3 column n very wide, n white n simple as well. But it seems impossible--- (besides my Poems blog)
Feel so down n frustrated!
Omg...
K, since i dun hv fate to change my blog layout, I would like to share my experience today.
Actually, I feel very happy everyday. Im 期望to blogging. Maybe caused of this, I spend less time in studies.
Praying---偷拍actually very paiseh.. so dint take well..
Amitapha
Amitapha x 2
This scene quite got feel right?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha (COLD)
BP Mall·omg, many handsome!
I saw a lots of clown in BP Shopping centre--from carrefour to where n to bp mall
Ohya, sth wan to share with you.
I still remember last time nis asked me before, Did i think that "if im a boy"?
If you are a boy, you will woo sindee?
Ha ha, well. I dono.
If im a boy, I won't meet sindee. So, I should become a boy or just a talented girl? (waaaa)
By the way, I hope im a boy.
So that I can woo sindee.
(COLD~)
Ya, today i sdn wish I am a boy. I saw some beauty at bp. My mind asked me, Why Sindee not beside me? So that I wont feel alone.
XD. Actually saw some handsome guys too. BP. is really better than Muar?
I Dono. But i saw 2 giordano T-shirt just for 50RM!
OMG! I want it! But i dare not buy in front of my aunt. I even din ask Mom.
In Bad mood actually.
Ytd Shareting said, she boxim study already.
Ya, every Parit girl will think like this?
Err...I like to study, But i dunwan the time forced me to study. I wan to study for pleasure, for knowledge, not Exam, N grade or Band! Suck.
I never thought that academic performance may influence the friendship of sd n me.
No.1 cant friend with Last five student? Well. I dun think so. the reason of me to blame myself is, im not qualified to become sindee's friend. Ha ha ha ha ha----the meaning is same as: No.1 cant friend with bottom five, zit?
wow, I not intend to admit it..
Sindee is more capable than me to play the letter "X".
She can use more X than me. Sometimes I wonder she really get what i mean or vice versa.
Today force to went to Bp with aunt. Mom forced me. Suck!
Well, I wish i could change my XC'S Life Layout, but my weekend is ruined by my dearest mom.
I took some pictures actually, feel free will upload and share with you ya...
Finally, i remembered what that 大道理 i want to share with you all already.
“不要去管別人，在SPEAKING裡面沒有說你應該讓誰，或把說話的機會讓給比較差的朋友。要照顧自己，自已應該優先，不要去想別人”
This is what Soh told me. She teached us to be selfish. Ya. When speaking i want to talk something, but huiwoon and lrn kept continue to say without stop. I never have the chance to talk. Actually i feel that they too * already. When i want to talk, i think that, im not the worst, i should give my chance to PeiLin. Who knows Pei Lin haven start, that two fellows talk again. They fighted during speaking. Then mrs soh said, peilin and me should talk.
Ya, sometimes im too.... Duno. I think they are...?
Now i dunlike huiwoon. Although she din 得罪 me.. but the feeling of dunlike, same as the feeling of i dislike afun...and RK...last time.
I stand at sindee side thinking what she will thinking.
But im still xc, so i wont know what is playing in her mind.
Anyway, weekend is the best time ever!
Trailer
I watched this movie with beloved eve and sindee last night. Reached home at 12am! it s too late for me. well, parent slept at tat time. house's door was closed and nobody sit in the living room welcome me back. Anyway, I think this movie is not bad, i thought the movie is about you kill me i kill you that kind of violent film. That s why, when eve suggested to watch X-Men, I was kinda suprising.
N Sindee said she heard that Shinjuku Incident not a nice movie.
Trailer
But i thought Tung-Shing Yee is a very famous director?
Actually Fun said wan to watch this before. Last time i had asked her to come out and watch. But she said suddenly dun want to watch. Now don't know why, since the happened of sihui, xuanyet knocked me, and they drive recklessly. And they act self-fish. So now i cant tolerate them anymore, though they are my good friends as once..
I suddenly remember what I want to say ytd d. BUt i dint jot down, then forgot already! omg..
also about 大道理one..
Open day.
actually bofu said alot of good words for us. Nis said, if like that he is not a good teacher lol.
No, this i dono, caused chinese idiom always say that, 慈母多敗兒.
Nearly shed tears when bofu was talking to my mom.
Bofu said, we parent must prepare a good room for children to study. This one he told us before, actually my room quite ok compared with my cousins. I wonder how they study. No, they din study. But their house is not conducive to studies too. I still remember i was very envy my cousins caused my aunt treat me better than my mom. Sometimes i wish im aunt's daughter. But now...still ok lar, i love freedom more than love, though aunt dote me alot. (Freedom>love? ----- not ba? No, i Need love)
Last night Nis bought me a milk tea, wow. actually he was drinking with 2 of his friends, so... ha ha, just 順便 give me. But sweet.
And actually, he bought me a watch as my birthday gift d. Quite man, but not so repell...
Thanks...
English corner:
1. Violent crime is only one of the maladies afflicting modern society.
暴力犯罪仅仅是危害社会的弊病之一。
2.1.Regularity ought to be observed, as regularity is very conducive to health.
生活应遵守规律，因为规律对健康有益。
昨天muet speaking trial，她們說，我的task A被瞄到是最高的14分。當然驚訝。剛開始覺得很高興。可是現在回想起來，我覺得---可能？應該是她們看錯了..
哪裡可能我的英文卡到想螺絲那樣還可以拿這么高分。她們看錯了。桌布英文那么好。嗨呀，她們第一次考，所以不懂看啦。
所以這件事情我都不想想了。
哈哈~
我覺得，可能我講到老師要的point?
可是老師有對huiwoon, lrn, peilin說她們的point是怎樣的。可是卻沒有對我說，難道---對我失望了？哇卡卡卡~
今天可好了，TEH狗嘴裡吐不出象牙，可是今天倒說了一句很有意義的話：
做數學要有信心，一旦沒有信心你就不用繼續做下去了！
好像還有一個人說的話很有意義的，不過忘了。今天是THURSDAY。思慧說：“去打球，今晚！和廷玥LYNN她們！最好是這樣”
今天還是家長日吶。
今天NIK在課室說：“別人讀physics我也讀physics。別人也一樣會讀得快要瘋了”
和欣妮說得很一樣，可是我還是沒辦法接受。
欣妮去check JPA 的錢了，我還沒有去。欣妮說：“Congrates”
失落的感覺是怎樣的，每當我們失落的時候，總是怪起對方不懂得體諒自己所承受的失落和挫折感。把思想改成positive就好了，只是這個Solution不太正確吖。誰可以那么輕易的改好自己的思考方式呢？
我們都在努力證明誰比較痛---
因為痛是Abstract的，所以多寡并不能分得出來吖。
如果現在對欣妮說：“失去東西，就會得到。”
欣妮，你可以冷靜麼？
掙扎很久，我在想要不要來寫日記。
找達文西的背景，因為晚上上不到網，所以就下午先上，不能總讓欣妮做完全部（最好是我沒有常常讓欣妮做完全部GROUP WORK的事情。
Sindee told me that, she wants to buy me a Grammar Book, but eve said she is crazy.
Not bad, but i dono whether i will read it or not.
Fed-Up
已經很疲倦了...
